Monday, May 26, 2008

The art of hearing God - pt 2

The past week I finished my essay questions for The art of Hearing God teacher certification. It took me a few weeks to get up the courage to begin, and then I flew through the majority of the essay, only to be stumped for a week on the last few questions.

In the last few questions I came face to face with the reality that I am not where I had hoped to be when I began the process several years ago, and then I had to fight through through to the fact that life is a process, not a destination. I knew this, I can see it more easily for others than for myself, but I was faced with and had to come to grips with the undeniable truth, again, that it's all a process. And once I allowed myself to be where I am and not where I want to be, I was able to finish up the essay and send it in.

That concept was one of the "aha" moments I had when I was in the class - that we are all in process at some level or another. I don't see myself as a type A personality, but I do like to complete a job well, Chris says I am a force of nature to be reckoned with at those times. This past week, I came face to face, again, with the fact that the job isn't completed till I pass from this world to the next, and I may as well enjoy the process. I hope that you too will allow yourself the freedom to enjoy the process of your life.

Thursday, May 22, 2008

My wonderful husband

I've told you I'm married, but I don't think I've told you what a wonderful man I'm married to. I stopped the other day and began writing down some of the characteristics I love and enjoy about him, to share a few:

Consistent, unchanging, yet flexible
Wants and works for the best for me
Loves me with all my faults and strengths, always encourages me to be the best me I can be.
You know right were you stand with him
Likes to talk with me and spend time with me
A rock

As I was thinking about all this my thoughts turned to my dreams. In my dreams, whenever my husband appears, I know it's God showing up. Awhile back I understood that Chris' name means "Christ bearer", and he is. He brings the living presence of God into every situation and place that he enters. Christ dwells in him. Chris is my husband, as Christ is my Husband. So whenever I dream and Chris is involved, I sit up and pay attention. In writing out some of the characteristics I love in Chris, I realized that those are some of the same characteristics that I love about Christ.

Consistent, unchanging, yet flexible
Wants and works for the best for me
Loves me with all my faults and strengths, always encourages me to be the best me I can be.
You know right were you stand with him
Likes to talk with me and spend time with me
A rock

Understand that I am not elevating my husband to the level of God. That's not what I am saying. What I am saying is that I know that I am loved; by my earthly husband and by my heavenly Husband. I am saying that I am fortunate that I see the love of my heavenly Husband in the love of my earthly husband. That doubts about how good God is and how He thinks of me are non-existent, because I have a living breathing example of His love for me. May you too know with confidence how great God's love for you is.

Thursday, May 15, 2008

The art of hearing God.

If you haven't picked it up by now, we are big movie watchers, and readers. We like Sci-Fi and action. I prefer movies that aren't ponderous or "thinkers". What has been striking me in everything I read or watch lately is the skill level that people have attained, and then I realize that the skill level they have attained came at the expense of a lot of practice, and a lot of failure. Slowly I am beginning to mirror, for myself, the Robbinson's (Meet the Robbinsons) philosophy of celebrate your failures. I've always been able to celebrate with others and help them to move on to try again, but moving beyond my own fears and failures have become more difficult as I move into places that I never expected to see myself. Scary places. And yet, I've resolved to meet these fears head on and have accepted the challenge of excellence.

Several years ago Chris and I took several classes offered by Streams ministry, the first was called The art of hearing God. The classes were so life changing that Chris took me to North Sutton NH to attend the teacher training. North Sutton is in the middle of nowhere and there was 3' of snow on the ground. We were told that pine trees outnumbered humans 3 to 1. Believe it.

After the week long intensive, there was a follow up test of 100 questions and then an essay test of 10 questions. The 100 questions took me about 6 months to complete and the essay 6 months to complete 8 or the 10 questions. I was finishing the last 2 questions when my computer died, with no backup. So, this week I began the essay questions again. I've been putting it off, not just because the questions are multipart and difficult, not just because they pertain to how I've integrated the material into my life and how I will use my life experiences to teach the course, but because I have to overcome some basic obstacles, and answer some questions for myself. Questions like overcoming being scared to be so transparent.... answering the question of am I good enough to be a teacher. I know the answers to these questions, and am addressing the others that haunt me, now its just going for it.

I'll keep you updated as to my progress.

Wednesday, May 14, 2008


I love seeing the hawks soar overhead, hawks look ungainly as they flap, and I am of the opinion that they were designed to soar.

As I drive home, there is often a red tailed hawk perched on an electrical pole. He sits there and looks majestic as he surveys his territory and looks for dinner. Sometimes during the day I'll see a hawk soaring with several smaller birds around it, the smaller birds pester the hawk by dive bombing it and trying to break it's rhythm of soaring. I can sense the frustration he feel feels when his rhythm is broken, the dive bombing is simply ignored, but the break in his soaring is an irritant. The interesting thing is that he doesn't retaliate by going after his attacker, he simply gives another downstroke and moves beyond the abilities of his attackers.

There are lessons to be learned from the hawks; ignore the nuisances and move beyond your attackers abilities. Don't give either the honor of being recognized or acknowledged. Your here to soar, so soar.

Monday, May 12, 2008

The journey

I've been thinking about journeys lately. Society would have us believe that when we set out on a journey, the accomplishment is in the attainment of whatever we set out to achieve. But the reality of it is that the end result is really only a tool for the change that happens in us.

Knowing I wasn't feeling well yesterday, my wonderful husband picked up the movie Stardust. We'd seen it before but he knew it would be perfect for the vegetative state I was in. That's not to say it's not a good movie, just that action or a thinker wasn't gonna cut it last night. In the movie, Tristen sets out on a quest to prove his love to the village beauty, who doesn't respect or honor him. In his adventure his experiences change him from a boy to a confident man. In the midst of the process, he finds true love. He returns to his village to present Victoria with a piece of the star. Victoria opens the door to find a grown up confident Triston at her doorstep. And she is impressed. As I saw Victoria's view, I was struck by the change that occurs in us while we are busy on our own journeys. We are changed, matured, tempered, and hopefully all the best qualities in us are brought out. We are changed in the journey, and that is the accomplishment.

All these thoughts began Friday as I had lunch with a friend. We were talking about her job and some difficult situations she faces. The Greek myth of Sisyphus came to mind. Even if you don't recognize his name you know the myth, Sisyphus is sentenced by "the gods" to roll a boulder up hill though out eternity. If you want to read the whole story here's a link: The outcome of the story, my version any way; Sisphus is not a nice guy, is that in pushing against this immovable rock, he has changed and gains strength.

What impossible situations are you facing today? What rocks do you have to roll up hill? Know that as you push against them, you are changed. Like Tristen above, you may not see or sense the change, but you are changed and are changing by facing those situations and pushing against them. Keep your eye on your goal, but enjoy the journey there. For it is in the journey that we are truly changed.

Friday, May 9, 2008


Finished Mosaic last night. It was a good read, more than that, a satisfying read. It's been too long since I have had a book that compelled me to read it in one sitting. I think the mark of a good book is that you are changed by reading it, like your changed by hearing the lyrics to a good song.

Amy's recollections made me stop and think about my own life. We're very different people, but we are both content with our lives, both the highs and the lows. Unlike some sectors of our society, Amy's life isn't preplanned for Superstar success, but rather rich with, family, friends, living and exploring this life that God has given. I desire no less, and that is most likely the most difficult part of leaving corporate America - to find, or rediscover my own unique rhythms. I know that I'll look back on this time as I look back at grade school; the formative years. But yet, right now I know I need to pass through this season, to learn new things, new rhythms. To be stretched in new ways. And ultimately, I will look back with contentment.

Thursday, May 8, 2008


It's been a few days since I posted anything, in part because I didn't think I had anything to write, in part because I didn't think anyone was "listening". Today I spoke with a friend and he mentioned that he'd been keeping up on my post-corporate life through my blog. It was gratifying to know that someone was "listening" and involved in my life.

This past week I've been doing a lot of studying and research on several subjects that my new employment requires. Honestly more focused work than my day to day corporate life. This afternoon I took a break and began reading Amy Grant's Mosaic. I have always connected with her music and lyrics; lyrics make or break a song for me. In her introduction she wrote:

...I soon discovered that thinking about writing a book and actually writing a book are two very different experiences. Suddenly I feared that I had nothing to say - that none of my stories were interesting at all....

I completely related to that statement.
"Is anyone interested in what I have to say?"
"How transparent do I become?"
"Is a blog safe to share the intimate thoughts and details of your life???" That one comes after hearing a friend tell me about his utube video was being shown by an extremist site that also showed the gory details of a beheading.

In reading Amy's book, I realized that I began this blog an an exercise in my writing skills. I am not doing it for your feedback, though I won't turn it away. This is an exercise in exercise.

And so I start yet again... and may have to start again several times. I hope you enjoy yourself here. I hope you find something that makes your day a bit brighter, and draws you a bit closer to the Father.

Friday, May 2, 2008

Roozengaarde pt 2

More photos for your enjoyment:


Took a trip to Roozengaarde this am. It's the show garden for Washington tulip Co. If you order tulip bulbs from Holland, chances are good they came from Roozengaarde in Mt Vernon WA, USA.

Sit back and enjoy a moment away.