Friday, October 31, 2008
Thursday, October 30, 2008
Thank you all for praying for me on this trip. I am still processing and trying to describe this trip - 3 times in the last 24 hours I have heard the chorus from "Say what you need to say" by John Mayer, that has served as an encouragement that I am on the right path, earlier this month I sensed the Lord saying that summer vacation was over, I hope that what we experienced this weekend is the answer to that "heads up".
I say "we" because I went to help Rob. He graciously offered to let me do some of my student teaching, my first time out on Thursday, the Vocal Cord Dysfunction that plagued me two years ago popped up. Rather than be a distraction, I think it created an empathy with the students. Rob took over when it was obvious that I'd reached the end of my voice, and five minutes later my voice was fine. One of the women came up to me and said that she had to tell me how brave I was, it totally brought me to tears, a place I was in most of the weekend. Another woman said she thought it was a spiritual attack, I agreed with her. That was the one and only time I had to deal with VCD. BTW - the Hebraic understanding of "And God said it was good" is better translated "And God looked around and saw that it was functional", He saw that it functioned as He designed it to be.
I stayed with the couple who coordinated the class Thursday and Friday evening. Friday morning I woke with a head cold. They prayed over me and prayed for me all day. The symptoms dried up most of the way but my right eye kept tearing up and I had a bit of sniffles, but nothing like what the morning promised.
There were 33 students in the class, they were hungry. They gave us grace and they showered us with love. Part of the 101 teaches about the dangers of "gold, glory, guys and girls". I totally understand the dangers of letting this go to your head, of taking on a "rock star" attitude.
We were surrounded by servants, we couldn't carry our bags or buy our lunch. I shake my head at it all. Humbling.
I wrote this to a friend earlier and I'll share it with you:
The people were so open, so hungry. I can't tell you who received more love, them from us or us from them. Rob said that it was an unusual 101, but he'd done the majority of the speaking and was fried so I didn't push for why. I'm still trying to process it all. After the class was over, we got to pray with everyone individually, speak words of destiny over them. It was amazing to read peoples mail, to say this is how you feel, but the Lord wants you to know how He sees you and this is a greater reality. One guy was in the Army, I knew that all weekend, but when I prayed for him, I asked him what position he held, he told me he was a Chaplains assistant. When Jeremiah was here last weekend, he told us that a Chaplin isn't allow to carry a weapon because of the Geneva convention. Because of that, there are Chaplin assistants who go everywhere with the Chaplin and protect him. I told him it was really cool, and that he carried a sniper rifle, he corrected me and told me what he carried, but then I realized that what I had understood was that he does carry a spiritual Sniper rifle, and all it's speciality gear, including a high powered scope and flashlight (Jeremiah had told us what a sniper carries). I began to draw for him the spiritual reality of him choosing to lay his life down to protect another that is dimly reflected in the natural, and as I spoke I could see the Holy Spirit witnessing to what I said. That was repeated with every single person. It was heady. Heady to be used like that, to be in that kind of an atmosphere, to see and feel the impact on the people. Heady to see that they had been changed by the head and spiritual knowledge they had received in class, but to see them called and stepping up to something more than they had believed about themselves, because of this impartation.
The family that hosted us served an amazing lunch Sunday after church, where the whole church came around us and prayed for us, for our families and for the work that "we've been called to do". For lunch we had King crab and halibut, not caught by them but caught by friends, as a side note, we snacked on bear summer sausage and had caribou patties and bratwurst for breakfast. But as amazing as that lunch was, the love that was freely showered on us was indescribable and added this special quality to everything. We have new family in Alaska, and I can't wait to visit them again. I was adopted by an Eskimo woman - I now have an Eskimo grandmother!
I was reminded again and in new ways that its all about building relationship. I was encouraged and challenged by Rob's stories. I got to take the 101 again, and was convicted in places I haven't pursued growth. My Admin skills were used as well as my retail experience, both came in handy - Rob's book table sold out. Steve and Steve made sure that there was nothing left, they made it a personal quest. The generosity of the people was stunning. And humbling.
On the plane home I wrote the following in my journal:
I received more than I gave.
I was adopted into families and inherited an Eskimo grandmother.
I received prophecy and unconditional love.
I was the recipient of broadcasting skills, the Fathers power, His love and a mothers milk.
I was reminded that I sit in the midst of the Holy Spirit and I draw my life and nutrition from Him, that I am my Fathers favored daughter, that I am brave and a mighty woman of God. That I will be mother to many.
I flowed in the anointing of God and was reminded how easy it is when it's not about you. I was ruined for a life of anything but this giving of the Lord impartation. I understood why people go to Burning man.
Monday, October 20, 2008
This morning we had a friend stop by, he had a hip replaced recently and has been on heavy duty drugs for the past 5 months. He's weaning himself off them and is having a bit of a hard time. He asked for prayer, and we were happy to oblige. Later, sitting in the office I realized that part of what I've been feeling for the past day has been "withdrawals" of the spiritual atmosphere we've been surrounded with lately. That may sound strange, but I've heard that science has proven that the endorphins that are released in prayer are also the same ones that are released during sexual intercourse. As I thought about that, it became clear to me that I've missed the intense spiritual atmosphere of the past several days. That understanding brought a fresh perspective, and lifted the lethargy that seemed so consuming.
On a lighter note, we had a friend visit on Friday. I posed the cartoon character question to him. It took him a few moments but he decided he associated Tweety with me. Needless to say I jumped out of my chair at his response, and no he wasn't coached. That was all him. I asked him why he associated Tweety with me. His comment - She always wins. I like that...
Saturday, October 18, 2008
If you remember, Moses finally gets permission to lead the Israelites out of Egypt to worship God. Pharaoh wakes up, realizes what he's done, gathers his entire army and heads out after them. The Israelites see Pharaoh and his army, take their eyes off of God, manifesting right before their eyes as a cloud by day and a pillar of fire by night, and start whinning to Moses that he's lead them out into the desert to die - living as slaves in Egypt would be preferable to death. From the text (note that this is from the Complete Jewish version, the blue is the text the black are my comments):
 Moshe answered the people,
“Stop being so fearful! Remain steady, and you will see how ADONAI is going to save you. He will do it today — today you have seen the Egyptians, but you will never see them again!
 ADONAI will do battle for you.
Just calm yourselves down!”
It really struck me that our only responsibility is to calm down, steady ourselves, watch what God will do on our behalf for His glory, and we won't need to worry about the situation again. Then Moses turns to God, and God says
 “Why are you crying to me?
In essence, God reminds Moses what he already knows "I have given you the authority and the ability to overcome this obstacle that looks so big in your eyes. Lift up your hand and use it. Take action."
Tell the people of Isra’el to go forward! Advance.  Lift your staff, Take up your authority. reach out with your hand over the sea, and divide it in two.The people of Isra’el will advance into the sea on dry ground. You think there are no solutions but there is one, it may seem impossible but it is right before you. Move forward.
 As for me, I will make the Egyptians hardhearted; and they will march in after them; thus I will win glory for myself at the expense of Pharaoh and all his army, chariots and cavalry.  Then the Egyptians will realize that I am ADONAI, when I have won myself glory at the expense of Pharaoh, his chariots and his cavalry.”
And God follows through with His promise - He shows the Israelites and the Egyptians who is God.
So how does that tie into Tweety??? I was reminded to walk in the power and authority that I have been given. Yet at times that power and authority are so natural to me that I don't realize I have them, or that I am or aren't walking in them. And that has lead to a whole lot more thinking...
Friday, October 17, 2008
Monday, October 6, 2008
A friend told me that the reason they are sending out babies is that they are or were root bound at one point.
So driving down the road this weekend, with all the above running through my head, I asked Chris if we'd missed out on spiritual growth by not being in an environment that shared all the same values. His answer surprised me.
He outlined the book In Conquest Born by C.S. Friedman. Short summary: people with physic talents are raised in a caring nurturing environment. The lead character enters the military where she is forced to go beyond the training that was considered the limit back at the training center. She returns to the training center, demands her way and walks through the mental barriers the head of the center erects. At that point she explains to him that for her very survival, she has gone beyond the self-defined limits that the center teaches. With that example, Chris points out that we've been forced to learn and grow in ways that wouldn't have been possible in a "nurturing" environment. And that brought me back to the spider plants. I realized that they are an example as well as a mirror for us; their environment, current/real or past/perceived, has caused them to go into reproduction and flowering mode.
While I can't see our lives as clearly as when I look at the plants, I hope we have been as busy as they have.